“But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me,
the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display His unlimited patience as an
example for those who would believe on Him and receive eternal life.” 1 Timothy
1:16.
I was brought out of darkness and
into glorious light, yes. But if the only thing I am doing in the light is
getting a tan, I’m missing an incredibly profound purpose. Yes, God desires to
make my face radiant with His glory, but He also wants me to grab His radiant
hand and march into darkness in order to bring illumination. This world is so
dark. The darkness of broken minds and hearts is absolutely terrifying. This
world needs the light of Jesus. And that light, my dear friends, is burning in
everyone of us who is called by Christ’s name. John 1:9 tells us that Jesus is
the true light, the light that gives light to every man and woman. In Matthew
5, Jesus doesn’t pass the torch to us – hallelujah! – but He leans His
brilliant, burning giant star of light and touches it to our flimsy matches and
we are now partakers and sharers of the light.
It’s cool, yes, but I wonder if it
terrifies anyone else when Jesus looks you in the eye and says, “You, yes, you,
are the light of the world!”
Yes! Finally I get to shine!
Finally people will look to me and behold my shining! And suddenly, no. I am
acutely aware of my inabilities, disabilities, inadequacies, and, let’s just be
honest, out right failures. Not only am I a small person, but I’m a sinful
person. And He wants me to be the light of the world? Are You sure, Lord? You
want me to be responsible for taking light to dark places? I can tell You right
now, Lord, I’m not the best person to be center stage. You tell me I am a city
on a hill that cannot be hidden. This means there’s no sneaking off to commit
my sins in secret. Nope. My life is on display. Talk about terrifying! So not
only am I responsible for taking light to dark places, I’m also incapable of
hiding. Awesome. This shining like stars in the universe thing has a lot more
to it than I thought.
I want to
be a shining star but the closer I look at the requirements, the more I realize
that I am hopelessly inadequate for the job. There is just no way I could ever
fill that job description. Take light to dark places – but, Lord, I’m scared of
the dark! Live a perfect life that evokes others to praise God – but, Lord, I
can’t be perfect! My best efforts are not good enough! God, You really should
not hire me for this job.
Too late.
He already
did.
“You are
the light of the world; a city on a hill cannot be hidden. Let your light shine
before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in Heaven.
You shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the Word of Life.”
What on
earth makes God think I am the right person for this crazy job? Seriously?
I so wish
the answer was that He is going to give me super powers so that I will never
fail. Wouldn’t that be nice? It would be easy if God would just hit me up with
perfection so I’d never struggle; I’d just do the right thing all the time.
Alas,
that’s not God’s strategy.
The thing
is that God already has a Child who never fails and always does the right
thing. His name is Jesus. Even though He filled the job description perfectly,
He still ended up being put to death because God wanted to adopt a bunch of
losers and failures who could never ever fill the requirements and someone had
to pay for the epic failure that is the entire human race.
So God
installs me as His child and says, “You, Kaitlyn Hope, are the light of the
world. Take the light into darkness.”
“But,
Daddy,” I protest. “I’m scared of the dark.”
“I know,”
He tenderly replies. “You’re afraid of the dark because there once was a very
sinister and horrible thing that lurked in the darkness that hurt you and
longed to completely destroy you. But,” He says with a smile and lifts up my
chin, “I defeated that horrible, sinister thing. You don’t need to be afraid
anymore because the darkness cannot destroy you. I’ve taken away the thing you
fear. Now go and live a holy life.”
“But,
Daddy,” I grab His arm again. I open my mouth to speak, to explain to Him my
inability to be holy, but shame washes over me and all I can manage is a
pathetic, “I can’t.”
A deeper
sorrow than mine fills His eyes. The most beautiful tears I’ve ever seen roll
down His glorious face. He wraps His majestic arms around me and leans His
great forehead against mine.
And a soft,
distant thunder roll answers, “I know.”
And then I
see my beloved Christ, the sight of whom is more precious to me than anything
else. His once perfect body is now marred and marked with my imperfection. My
sin has left the most horrible gashes on His strong back, wide gashes that
scream of excruciating pain. My doubts have made jagged scars on His kingly forehead.
I grit my teeth at the thought of His precious blood being scraped out of His
marvelous veins by the thorns of my disbelief. And then His hands – the
strongest, toughest, gentlest, lovingest hands to ever grace the universe –
those hands were marked with the nails that ran them through every time I said,
“I do not love You.”
That His
perfect body is tainted because of me…my ugliness that so disfigured His
beauty…what have I done? Oh my Jesus, what have I done?
“You’re
right, little one,” the Lord says to me. “You can’t live a holy life; you can’t
live perfectly. But I have sworn to love. I swore it from the start. Despite
your awful life, I cannot let you be torn apart. The sin you committed, the
monster you made, I just couldn’t let it pull you down to the grave. You could
not have withstood it and you could not have come through it. You are weak.
But, oh, how I love you so. I swore to love you and I’ll always keep my oath.
So I came instead – to live perfectly and to rise from the dead. I didn’t walk
out of that tomb empty-handed, either. I came out with your dead heart and your
dead soul clutched to my chest because no one could ever give you the best –
except for Me. I paid the price for your failures. I did. So now you can fail
in your rickety pursuit of perfection and never have to worry about the true
danger of what lies at the bottom of the murky pit of failure. You might fall
in and have to climb back out. You might get stuck and get covered in slime.
But, My darling, you will not be sucked down. That thing, that sinister thing,
that wanted to rip you to shreds, well, it ripped Me instead. For those who are
in Christ Jesus there is no condemnation! This means you can go to the darkest
corners of the darkest nation and you can shine and you can fail because
failure cannot catapult you into Hell. In fact, if you do it right, your
splendid failure will catapult you straight into My presence. I stretched out
My magnificent arms for six hours across a wooden beam so that a day would come
when I could hold you for all eternity. Your failure cannot separate us. I
entered your failure and I conquered it. So go into the world, if you believe
Me. Amidst this dark and broken world, a shining star’s what I created you to
be. Don’t worry about filling the requirements – I took care of that. Just go
and shine with all your might. Don’t worry. Just be the light – the light that
is so desperately needed. The Ultimate Light came to the world once and it will
be repeated. One day, My light will shine so brightly that every knee will bow
before Me and you will be so glad I let you come along on the journey.”
